|| SUCK MY BACK
Is this truly my first time posting to this? O_o;
When I first started writing this, it was horrible. Litteraly, a side of me that no one should have to see. I cried a bit and re-read it. I decided to take out everything except for my 4th point(the first three were juicy and full of curses ^_^). Still, Roaming Charges, should you happen upon this in some random twist of bad luck, I dont want tears:
I love you. I love you with all my heart. I've bled so hard for us. I'm so dirty, so pathetic, but I wanted so much to be perfect for you. Even now as I write this, Im hurting. I never wanted you to hate me, to not want me. For years, you made me crazy and made me feel so alive.
I wanted to be honest for you. So I told you all there was to me.
I wanted to be understanding of you. So I restrained my wrathful words until I could hear yours.
I wanted to be loyal to you. So I abandonded touching myself and weeped whenever I failed.
I wanted to be sexy for you. So I hid let you touch me in beautiful, pure ways.
I wanted to be strong for you. So I danced to a song of hatred and "n" words.
I never wanted you to feel quilt or to hurt. So I blammed myself for what was wrong.
I never wanted us to fight. So I simply gave in to love.
I never wanted to post this.
But as the song goes, you made me love you.
((Okay, girls! If you wanna see the orginal post, scroll down for my gory anger! ^^ Woot woot, all mighty uterus!))
(Last chance. Back away now if you dont wanna cry....)
(I warned ya.)
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!! YOU STUPID SHIT-HEAD, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!
((OOOkie-dokie, I suppose I dont have to elaborate since you could all take a wild guess as to who this is about. ^^))
I would like to make serveral random rageful statements now! ^_^
1.) NO MORE! I'm tired of you forgetting everything and Im sick and tired of you being sooo sorry for it and never doing anything to change!! Oh? Whats that? You say you HAVE been trying? Oh! You say that you've been giving it your all! And that everyone else acuses you of it too, that you're not trying hard enough? Imagine that! ^___^
While on that note:
2.) CUT. THE. SHIT. If I may quote Heidi from Thinner, "Enough bullshit is enough bullshit, my friend". The guilt trips? The pittiful stories? Yeah. Here's an update from ABCNews:
I'm a catholic; my whole LIFE is one big guilt trip!! >_O
Mommy dearest must've picked up lessons from a Jewish mom cause guilt is everywhere I turn since dating you hasn't been the most popular topic around the house. If you think your stories and excuses are going to move me anymore, you're sadly mistaken. I've dealt with your stories and listened and apologized for and believed them for YEARS.
Think I'm done? Oh no. Not by a long shot, dear ^^
3.) Are you TRYING to piss me off?! "I'm a horrible boyfriend", "You deserve better than me", "I'm not worth it".
I wonder... do you WANT me to break up with you? And are you just too scared to tell me to my face? You give me every reason too, and I have to wonder. Is this all just an elaborate design to get me to break it off with you first? What charity! What a saint! My knight in shining armor! =^_^= How lucky am I to have a boy would will tell me one minute:
"I love you with all my heart. You're everything to me. You're my world. I love you."
- and the next, do everything concievable that would drive any other woman to the brink of insanity. Not that Im not all ready insane 9_9;
If this is the case, dear, don't you dare tell me you love me. Don't you dare put up a farce of affection and longing. Better that you spew out words of hate and distaste to me than to lure me in and tear me apart.